The Heart's Revenge
by Misha
Summary: The real reason Peter Pettigrew did what he did. LilyJames, unrequitted LilyPeter


The Heart's Revenge   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and is not mine, however much I might wish differently. However, I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue me! 

Author's Notes- I was writing "Similarities" and my idea for the reasons behind Peter's betrayal stuck with me, so I decided to make a longer story. This one focuses completely on Peter as he tells you the events that led to him betraying the Potter's. Maybe Wormtail wasn't as weak and pitiable as he appeared to be. I hope you enjoy it. And remember, feedback is the best thing in the entire world. It's even better than chocolate. 

Rating- PG 

Pairings- Lily/James, unrequited Lily/Peter. 

Summery- The reason Peter Pettigrew did what he did. 

Spoilers- All four books, but mainly PoA.   


* * *

Life started out simply for me. 

I was the only child of Kenneth and Genevieve Pettigrew. My father died when I was five, but my mother smothered me with love and affection. 

I grew up in a nice home, with everything that I could want. 

There's nothing there to blame for what happened later in my life. Nope, I had a wonderful childhood full of love and happy memories. 

When I was eleven I went to Hogwarts, of course. Since I was a pureblood, I had always known that would I go there. I might not have been as talented as some of my peers, but there had never been any thoughts of me being a squib. 

On the way there, I met two boys who would change my life: James Potter and Sirius Black. 

It's hard to think of them as separate from one another. They were already a twosome by the time I met them; they had been best friends all their lives. 

They drew attention to themselves from the first. They were handsome, out-going, smart, and full of life. Everyone was drawn to them. 

Imagine my surprise, when they befriended me. 

We were all in the same house, Gryffindor, my parents' old house, and we became a close-knit group, along with Remus Lupin. 

They were the only real friends that I ever had and we had some wonderful times. 

But there were times when I resented always being the one in the background. Sirius and James tended to dominate everything they did and Remus, though shy and quiet, shone in the academic areas. 

MeÉ 

Well, the only subject I did **badly** in was Potions, but I didn't exactly excel in any of my subjects. So, I just stood in the background while my friends got all the attention. 

But I was okay with that. 

Especially after I learnt Remus' secret, that he was a werewolf. I mean, imagine having to go through **that** once a month. I couldn't even imagine it. It made fading into the background seem like a little problem in comparison. 

I think that's why James came up with the idea of he, Sirius, and I becoming secret Animigus. 

I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but I agreed, even though I was doubtful that I would succeeded given that I had never been that good at Transfiguration. But James was a master at it and he helped me learn it. 

It took us three years, but at the beginning of our 5th year we succeeded. 

An Animgi form isn't chosenÑit's the animal you relate to the most. 

Sirius was a dogÑman's best friend, trustworthy, and loyal. James was a stagÑbeautiful, noble, and brave. And meÉ I was a rat. 

Pathetic, huh? 

Well, I guess fate was trying to tell me something even then. 

Anyway, I had more or less accepted my role before then and was content. 

There was a bright spot in my life that nothing could dim. 

Lily Evans. 

She was the most beautiful girl in our year, full of life and light. She didn't really hang out with us all that often, but once in a while. And every so often, she and I would have nice, quiet talks away from the others. 

I lived for those talks. Lily was nice to everyone and always went out of her way to be kind to me. She was the only person who treated me as something other than an extension of James and the others. 

It wasn't surprising that by out third year, I was head over heels in love with her. 

I never said anything though, I was too afraid of rejection. Instead, I was just content to admire her from afar. 

No one knew of my feelings, not even my closest friends. I was too afraid that they'd laugh at me for daring to love someone as perfect as Lily Evans. 

Still, imagine how I felt when our 5th year began and James announced with a smile that Lily had agreed to become his girlfriend. 

I was devastated. 

James had everything, why did he need Lily too? But, it happened. Lily became James adoring other half. 

They looked so perfect together. 

Watching them made me sick. My envy towards James slowly turned into hatred. 

I hid it well, but it was there, boiling beneath the surface. 

The summer before my sixth year, I joined the Death Eaters. I did it secretly, all the while pretending that nothing had changed and that I was the same old, lovable Peter that I had always been. 

My job was to spy for Lord Voldemort. 

I was to pretend to be on the side of Dumbledore, but really be feeding my master vital information. 

As I did so, I waited for the opportunity to get my revenge on James. 

I waited for years. I graduated Hogwarts, watched as my master's power grew and his patience with me weakened. I knew that I would soon be eliminated. 

Then, the moment I had been waiting for came. 

It was discovered that Lord Voldemort wanted Lily, James, and their baby son Harry dead. Well, I had already known that, but I don't know who told Dumbledore. All I knew was that it complicated things, since I was sure that Dumbledore would do whatever he could protect them. 

And I also knew that I would get the blame from my Master for one more stroke of bad luck. This was probably going to lead to my execution. 

But I was wrong. Instead, it gave me the chance I had been waiting for. See, 

Dumbledore had come up with the idea of using the Fidelius charm. Everyone, including me, assumed that Sirius would be the Secret Keeper. He was James' best friend, they were inseparable, Sirius had even be named as Harry's godfather. 

Imagine my surprise, when instead _I_ was approached. 

It was perfect. The opportunity that I had been waiting so many years for. I could get my revenge on James and get back into my master's good graces at the same time. 

I did ask one thing of him though, I asked him not to take Lily's life. 

He agreed. His motive for killing James and Harry was that they contained the blood of Godric Gryffindor, Lily didn't and thus wasn't important. 

He could spare her, especially in return for such important information. 

But, of course, Lily died anyway and her son survived, defeating the dark lord. 

And I spent the next twelve years as a rat named Scabbers, no one realizing that I was alive. 

And even when the truth came out, no one ever guessed my true motives. They all thought that it was because I was weak-willed, pushed into it. 

No, that couldn't be farther from the truth. 

The real reason is that I did it all for the love of a woman that I knew I would never have. 

The End 


End file.
